


Euphemisms

by merentha13



Category: The Professionals
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:30:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6293398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merentha13/pseuds/merentha13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of humor (I hope!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Euphemisms

It had been a hell of a day. Chasing a gang of thugs through the London Docklands for hours had left both of them cold, wet and knackered. Glad of the thick rug wrapped around his shoulders and the hot mug of tea in his hand, Doyle folded himself into a corner of the settee in the VIP lounge. He watched with fond amusement as Bodie tapped a biro rhythmically against the end of his nose whilst he worked a crossword. Bodie’s quiet breathing and the soft patter of sleet against the window lulled him into a light doze.

“Oi!” Bodie called out. “Need a word for copulate. Starts with an “F”.”

Doyle, jolted awake, yelled as the hot tea spilled in his lap, “Fuck!”

“Not enough letters.” The pen continued tapping.

Doyle could see Bodie trying to suppress a grin as he watched Doyle rub at the tea stain on his jeans.

“Need some help?” Bodie leered, moving a hand towards Doyle’s damp crotch.

Pushing Bodie’s groping fingers aside, Doyle muttered, “Back off, you mad bastard!”

Bodie looked him up and down and returned his attention to his puzzle.

“Fornicate,” he announced.

“You – what?!” Doyle’s eyebrows rose into his fringe. “Here?”

Bodie rapped on the newspaper. “The word,” Bodie explained. “A nine letter word for copulate -” Without looking away from the paper he drew a handkerchief out of his pocket and passed it to Doyle. “ – ‘s fornicate.” He smugly wrote the letters in the small boxes. “You know, Doyle, there seems to be quite a few words for that particular act.”

“They’re called euphemisms.” Doyle tossed the handkerchief back to Bodie.

“Euphe-what? Got yourself a new thesaurus, eh, professor?”

“Think about it,” Doyle ignored Bodie's send up. “There are some pretty weird expressions for that – er – activity.”

“Suppose so,” Bodie adopted a posh accent. “One can get one’s leg over or –“ Doyle snickered. “ -Or one’s end away.”

“Don’t forget ‘bugger’, ‘bonk’, ‘stuff’…”

“Crass, Doyle, very crass. But that’s what one would expect from a street rat.” He ‘oofed’ as Doyle’s elbow connected with his stomach. Chuckling, he continued, “Don’t forget the ol’ slap and tickle, or how’s your father?”

“Shag, and ‘nudge, nudge wink, wink’…” Doyle offered.

“Something for the weekend, sir?” They both chorused together and broke out laughing.

The rest room door opened and Murphy sauntered in. He eyed the two men, bemused. “Enjoying yourselves, are you?”

“Hallo, Murph.” Doyle managed between hoots. “How’d the hearing go?”

“Not well. His nibs was not amused.”

“What happened? Bodie asked, because Doyle appeared incapable.

“Roger got off on a technicality.” Murphy watched speechless as two of CI5’s toughest agents dissolved into school-boy giggles.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Teas and Swiss Roll Weekly Obbo Prompt 'technicality'


End file.
